Table 1 Structural analysis—themes and subthemes
Theme | Subthemes |
|---|---|
To give it all and yet feel insufficient | Self-evident to care in the situation & took it as a challenge Knowing my value as an ICU nurse Feeling proud & grateful Ambivalence towards what the situation demanded Feeling insufficient & guilty for one’s own shortcomings Feelings of regret, bad conscience & hopelessness |
To experience togetherness and yet feel lonely | Community and loyalty with colleagues an important support and a motivator to care Taking responsibility for competence in the workplace Support from managers of great importance Lack of support from the organisation & not given the right conditions to care A feeling of loneliness No appreciation; rather a feeling of being used |
To prioritise others and yet need to eventually prioritise oneself | Balancing priorities Immense impact on the physical, psychological and personal aspects of one’s life Coping with suffering and death Protecting important caring values and one’s own moral boundaries Reaching a breaking point A relief to leave the ICU but a loss of the expected professional future Ambivalent approach to care in the event of a new pandemic |